Be Right Back…

I’m not normally one to post a lot of personal things on social media, my blog, etc., but it’s time I take a brief break from blogging and sewing and figure everyone deserves a reason why (plus it’s just natural curiosity to know what’s happening and I’m going to guess that venting my be cathartic). The short of it: it’s time to find my mother placement somewhere she will be safe. For the longer story, read on.

About 2.5 years ago, my mother had an MRI which showed “normal age related white matter disease” (we all get white matter, more as you age, but hers was not out of the norm). Almost 1 year later to the day, she has an MRI, but this time the results read “extensive white mater disease” which explained the mild confusion she was occasionally displaying. Basically, they believe she was having such small strokes that it was not showing any symptoms, but enough that it was cutting off blood supply to the tiny vessels in her brain, thus killing them. At this point in time she was only showing mild dementia (confusion about the day, occasionally forgetting things), but nothing that would keep her from living independently.

When it came to moving, my mom was very adamant she did not want to go – largely because she did not want to move to an independent living community (even though she would have her own apartment, she didn’t want to be “old’) nor give up driving (by this point she had has a few accidents, she doesn’t use GPS and Columbus has the 4th worst drivers in the US…. I can’t argue with that fact). Unfortunately, there was no way to make her move, so we left her behind. At that point she was also refusing assistance from a home health agency.

While lots of things have happened in the 7 months that we’ve been gone, it was in the past 3 months, that I noticed a decline in her mental status – so much so that I wound up contacting a lawyer to start guardianship proceedings. Yesterday she found herself locked out of her apartment. An ambulance was called and I had her taken to the hospital for evaluation. Since she has a decline in mental status, they have declared it’s no longer safe for her to live alone (this also speeds up guardianship and placement for her). While this is exactly what was needed, it also happened a lot faster than what we all anticipated. So, it’s time for me to get my mom settled in a new place, clean out her apartment, and take care of matters for her for awhile.

For those that are wondering: No. Living with us can’t be an option. Our current house has lots of steps with no bedroom or shower on the main floor. She has started sleeping odd hours (napping during the day, up most of the night) which would be a concern, not just for Easton’s sleep habits, but also because she could wander up and down the steps and fall. And to be honest, I know that her condition will worsen over time (it’s already done so in the past few months, pretty drastically) to the point she may needed continual care for bathing, dressing, and feeding and I would feel better knowing she’s in a facility that could provide that.

So, if you hung on this long to read all that, keep my mom in your thoughts and prayers and I find someplace that is suitable for her and I’ll see you all in a few weeks.

6 thoughts on “Be Right Back…

  1. JypseaRose

    Dear StacySews~
    I rarely comment on the posts of the blogs I follow, I’m more of a lurker than a joiner in the online sewing community.

    1st~I will honestly miss your posts. I *always* read yours and enjoy the heck out of them. You will certainly be welcomed back when you’re ready to post again.

    2nd~My brother just lived thru dementia with his wife and it is pure hell. She passed about 3 years ago and the pain and hardship of it is still fresh with him. He gave it his all but in the end had no choice but to find placement for her, too. You’re 100% correct you need professional care for your mother right now so God bless you & your mom right now.

    3rd~Please remember to take care of yourself. It’s too easy to lose yourself taking care of an ill, aging parent. That doesn’t do anyone any good at all so keep an eye on yourself. There are many books written on the subject.

    I will remember your mother in my prayers.

  2. Susan Plum-Jones

    Stacy,
    Jypsea Rose covered all my points exactly.

    We lost my dad a few years back from the same thing and it was very difficult, from beginning to end. Take care of yourself, so that you can take care of your mom. She is lucky to have you.

    You and your family are in my heart and prayers.

    Susan

  3. Carolyn

    Stacy – let me too emphasize that you’re doing the right thing. I know it’s hard but your Mother will receive better care at a facility. Take the time you need to handle these things. We will be here waiting when you return.

  4. M-C

    So, so sorry Stacey! It’s a very painful time for all concerned. But I can only second the other comments in saying that finding your mom a place will ensure her basic needs are met, while leaving you enough energy to cope with the rest. Take care of yourself too, and best of luck in finding a solution that works for both of you.

  5. Bernadette

    Wishing your mom a safe, pleasant place to live and soon some peace of mind for you. You can’t stop time (my frequent childhood fantasy as I wished for various better outcomes) but you can make good use of it in the moments when you are needed.

  6. Sarah

    Stacy, I am so sorry you are going through this. Being of a similar age, I’ve been dealing with a lot of issues with my parents and in-laws. It is so hard. The dementia must be so frightening for your mom and for you. You are doing all the right things. Please be sure to take care of yourself during this ordeal. You cannot help unless you are caring for yourself first. I’m thinking of your mom and your family. 💜

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